Maybe you know, maybe you don’t. But, my “father” is not a part of my life.

He chose alcohol over me.

He chose to be a selfish man rather than be a selfless parent.

I use quotation for a reason. A father is not what he is. Biologically, yes. But, a father is someone who takes care of and loves you. Someone who is present, that was/is not him.

Not having him in my life has not been all bad. I have actually learned and grown from it.

Because I don’t have him in my life I have become closer to my mom. I have a bond and relationship with her that’s different because it has always been just her and me.

Because I don’t have him in my life I have found my worth through my Heavenly Father. It took me awhile to get here, but that’s where I am now. I talk and trust in my Heavenly Father with so much faith. I see Him as the father I don’t have. I see how God has been a provider for me and have seen His unconditional love that no earthly parent could ever give.

Because I don’t have him in my life the relationship I have with my Poppy is so much stronger and so special. He has been my male role model my whole life. He showed me what a Godly man acts like. He always teaches me and shows me how to do things to be independent.

But mostly, because I don’t have him I have learned to appreciate my mom and all that she does. She has gone above and beyond. She always encourages me to do my best and has been an example that I don’t need a man to be successful or do anything for me. I don’t need somebody else to do anything for me. I can do anything I put my mind to. She has shown me strength and that you always have to do the right thing even if that means doing it alone.

I used to get upset and sad (I still do sometimes), but now I see how many blessings have come from a bad situation. That it stinks not having a Dad sometimes, but that doesn’t define me and it doesn’t make me any less of a person. This bad situation has been such a blessing in disguise.