As midterm week approaches, I’m beginning to comprehend that I am in college. This is the real world and there is no turning back. It is too late to drop out, too late to turn back. I’m stuck. This time has flown. I can not believe that I am in college like I’m a big girl now! This is what I always dreamed of. I have freedom (with my mom’s permission) and as awesome as it has been I’m realizing that the past 6 weeks have not been what dreams were made of. These past 6 weeks I have been on an emotional rollercoaster.
I have gone from loving to being at home and going to Lonestar to hating it. From feeling like I was really walking in Gods plan to question why He would use me.
And looking back at these few weeks I can see where God was telling me that I was where I was supposed to be.
When my mom told me I was where God wanted me to be through a long emotional couch talk and when I got my reimbursement check from financial aid although that was more like God shouting at me. But, one of the most simplest examples was when one of my small group girls asked me where I was last week. We weren’t having a small group that Sunday morning and I had a late night at work combined with a long week of school and decided to sleep in, but when she asked me it broke my heart. Not just because she expected to see me and I wasn’t there, but that I was missed and she looked forward to seeing me. At that moment, God answered all of my doubt. He showed me that I was where I needed to be because she needed me. That although I felt insignificant and useless sometimes He was using me without me even realizing it!
As midterm week approaches, I feel at peace with where I’m at. I’m excited about my future because I’m excited to see where my life is going not because I’m excited to move on from this point. I feel like I have found my place in this world. That I am exactly where God wants me to be.